Welcome to Mr. Fitzpatrick's English 50

Lesson Two

READ:

Chapter 2 entirely, reviewing any sections that seem confusing or unfamiliar to you. Understand the relationship between the thesis statement, the supporting statements, and the details used in each supporting statement. READ THE SECTION ON THESIS STATEMENTS BELOW.

QUIZ: Study the revising model in the Activity at the end of the chapter (p. 48-49). Try to get all 4 blanks filled in correctly. Send them to me separately (JUST the 4 numbers, again like you did with the letters in the first exercise above) using the interactive form below. I’ll let you know if you got them in the right order. This is a graded exercise so concentrate and send them to me immediately so you can move on.

THEN - skip ahead to the model essay at the end of Chapter 3. It’s an essay largely filled with blanks. Next week, you will be filling in those blanks, but take a good look at the structure of the essay - and use it as a guide in writing this week’s essay about a film you’ve seen. (See "Write" below).

LECTURE:

This week, Chapter 2 gets you right into the business of writing in an organized and efficient manner. There are some interesting little sections in this chapter that you should study thoroughly.

THIS IS THE MOST IMPORTANT ASSIGNMENT OF THE FIRST HALF OF THE COURSE; GIVE EACH SECTION OF THIS CHAPTER YOUR BEST ATTENTION.

One important section (p. 30) is the section on Clustering. Some teacher refer to this as "brainstorming," "mapping," or "diagramming," but I like "clustering" better because it sounds more centralized, even focused. It helps to do this even just a little bit for practice in the writing assignment this week; as you’ll see below, you have to make a list of 5 items you’ll use for support, and then you’ll pick 3 to use in the essay.

This is a really EASY way to understand the process of putting ideas down on paper and then organizing them. From this activity, it isn’t very difficult to get to the next stage - outlining. Review the section on "Preparing a Scratch Outline" (p. 31) and take a look at the model on the same page. You can skip outlining this week, unless you’ve never done it before. If that’s the case, you’ll find making a list of items to write this essay very helpful; you can probably even rank (organize) them so it will be easier for you to pick the 3 most important items to use in your essay. As you begin composing (writing) your first draft, check out the student model on p. 31-32 to help you see how another writer organizes his/her thoughts.

Review the sections on revising and editing (p. 35-39); these sections stress the thing I wind up telling my online students more than anything else: ALWAYS, ALWAYS PROOFREAD, EDIT, AND REVISE YOUR WORK BEFORE YOU SUBMIT IT TO ME. I will wind up grading down your work for neglecting to take the trouble to do this more than for anything else. Editing means that you need to check things like the following:

· make sure you haven’t used any slang expressions

· avoid using "you" or "your," "I," "my," "we," or "our," if at all possible

· change "lots" or "a lot" to "much," "many," or "a large number," "quite a few," etc. "LOTS" and "A LOT" are much too uninformative, overused, and common

· check your comma usage; review Ch. 39, sections 2 and 4 and Ch. 40, section 2. Also, review Ch. 25 about run-on sentences; THIS IS VERY IMPORTANT, SO DO IT EARLY AND OFTEN

One of the best ways to review what you have written is to take a checklist approach; decide what one or two things you want to look for when you read, and then LOOK FOR THEM alone. For example, the first time through, you might look at each sentence and make sure it makes sense. In other words, make sure it is a complete thought, that it could stand alone as a sensible thought. (Do this AFTER you read Ch. 25) Then, you could attack your punctuation…or your use of slang or conversational language (see the posting in my Instructor’s Posting Area on "Slang.") You have to design YOUR OWN checklist, because you know best where you are weak, and where you are not. I have already given you a few tips based on your diagnostic paragraph in Part 1. If you send me a draft by Thursday at noon, I can help you further identify where you need to focus your efforts. But it’s always better if you begin developing these skills yourself.

One thing about punctuation: your book gives you some pointed lessons on the basic rules of punctuation. If you have barely any, just a few, or way too many problems with punctuation, make sure to do the "Review" activity below. I will be less and less patient with repeated punctuation errors as the weeks go by, especially if I have been pointing them out to you for a few weeks. Take the time now to review these pages, and check with me if there are things you do not understand or need to have explained further. I have done my own little section on semi colons in the Instructor’s Posting Area, so take a look there as well.

THESIS STATEMENTS

In my own words, and quite simply, the thesis statement is the key point or claim you are trying to make in the essay. It is NOT what the essay or paper is about. That’s called the "subject."

Here are some examples of subjects and a good thesis statement for each. The subjects are from daily life so you can see more easily how a claim or an argument is made. Study how they are different:

Subject: my allowance

Thesis: I deserve $5 more per week for my allowance.


Subject: dinner tonight

Thesis: Starting tonight, everyone must be at the table for dinner by 6:00 p.m..

Subject: global warming

Thesis: Making fewer trips to town will help reduce global warming.
 

Subject: California’s major league baseball teams

Thesis: The Angels are the best of California’s five major league teams.
 

Subject: on-line education

Thesis: While it is attractive to many students for many reasons, on-line courses require additional discipline and offer much less socialization.
 

Subject: The War in Iraq

Thesis: We need to stay in Iraq until the job is done no matter how long it takes.

 

Do you get the picture??? A thesis or thesis statement is a claim or an argument that you are making (or a position or a stand you are taking). The idea is to make your thesis statement, and then back it up with enough supporting evidence that you can succeed in persuading your audience of its merit, truth, validity, or accuracy. You must keep all of this in mind as you look over your own possible thesis statements for upcoming essays.

 

REVIEW:

Check over Chapters 24 and 25, and Chapters 37 through 40. Focus on whichever sections you are unfamiliar with, BUT PARTICULARLY Chapter 39, Section 2-4, and Chapter 40, section 2. If you have any trouble with apostrophes, review Chapter 37.

WRITE:

Think of the BEST film you have seen within the last two or three years. Make a list of 5 reasons why it is your top pick and put that list at the beginning of your essay BEFORE YOU START WRITING. This is the "clustering," "brainstorming" or "diagramming" I mentioned above in the lecture. Then pick the 3 BEST of these reasons and write an essay in which each of the three reasons gets one paragraph. These three paragraphs must make up the middle part of your essay.

* Submit BOTH the initial list of 5 reasons and your completed essay. You will not get complete credit if you do not include the list of 5 items along with your draft. I will not send you a reminder; you’ll just lose the points.

* (REMEMBER - you may send a rough draft to me and get a quick grade-free evaluation if you get it to me by Thursday at noon of the week it’s due, BUT make sure to use the interactive form so I’ll see immediately that you need a quick turnaround on it. Don’t forget to write "draft" at the beginning of the essay.)

* Of course, you can rework your first draft, but the main thing is to get the structure right. Start with a short introduction, then reasons 1, 2, and 3 get a paragraph apiece, and then a short conclusion. Remember, this is an organizing and first draft exercise, not a finished product one. I won’t grade off that much for punctuation, but I will call your attention to any mistakes I see repeated so you can make a note to yourself. REMEMBER TO PROOFREAD IT BEFORE YOU SUBMIT IT TO ME!

I have put a short mini-lecture on film reviewing AND three samples of student reviews from past classes in the Instructor’s Posting Area. Please go there and read them before you write, or at least before you revise. There are a few things you need to keep in mind so that your review will be much better than you thought it could be.

Submit the Film Review in the form below:

Name: (Always use your real name in this box)
Email: (Enter your exact email address)

 

DISCUSSION

Read the three short student comments about peer editing here. Think about what sharing your writing with another person will be like, and then write a 150-word paragraph discussing how you feel about peer editing. Include some comments about your previous experience with it, if any. Refer to the student comments if you wish.

1. I have to say that my editor has been great to work with. (Thanks, Sara!!!) She has been quick to return work and always seems to find things that I've missed, even after I have read my essay several times. Her notes are always easy to read as well. We found that color coding them made things simple. I don't think there is anything that could have made this easier, and she certainly has helped me improve my work. It's been great!

2. Having a peer editor was difficult for me because I am a really shy person. We really haven’t communicated a lot. Like I said before, it was hard for me to communicate with him since I am really shy. I believe if we communicated more, it would have helped out my papers.

3. I was not able to take advantage of my peer editor. We exchanged a couple of emails in the beginning of the semester, but we never had the chance to exchange drafts. I am always behind with my essays, so sending her my drafts is next to impossible. I always manage to submit my work at the very last minute, but I never manage to submit my work ahead of time.

 

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