LESSON 8

CHAPTER 12: Sexuality and the life cycle: Adulthood

Being single:

This chapter refers to that part of our lives which is over generally called adulthood. Thanks to Erikson, whose theory of lifespan development expanded Freud’s developmental stages, we now realize that learning, transitions and change occur over one’s life time (hopefully). For the purposes of our course in human sexuality, we find that the process of “sexual unfolding” refers to the issue of becoming a sexually mature person. Further, defining one’s sexual identity is an aspect of the stage of sexual unfolding as described in the text and best occurs prior to finding the “right” person (or progressively, persons, if you remember the term “serial monogamy” thanks to Margaret Meade). Within the last several years, an alternative to the singles scene as a way of meeting people is through singles' ads found in most daily newspapers or on the Internet.

Cohabitation

Cohabiting frequently involves children as people are quite likely to have children present, the result often of previous union(s). Most cohabiters have plans to marry and have sex more often than married couples. Speaking of frequency of sexual intercourse, research indicates that most married couples in the United States average having sexual intercourse about two to three times a week; 4 to 5 times when they are in their twenties. Technique has varied a bit in that a significant increase of married couples over the last 30 to 40 years use mouth-genital techniques more often. Perhaps it is a matter of education, in that married women who have not completed high school as opposed to married women who have attended college are twice as likely to engage in fellatio. Who initiates sexual intercourse most often in the typical marriage, you guess it, males; only about 16 percent of the initiators likely to be the wife.

Incidence of Sexual behavior in married people.

Back to the masturbation subject, our text tells us that it is common for both married men and women, in other words, after marriage both men and women generally continue to do so. Masturbation in marriage is perfectly normal and may result in the person staying faithful to the marital partner. Most married people do indicate that they are satisfied with their marital sex. Satisfaction with one’s sex life varies for several reasons. Women who are most likely to express satisfaction are those women who say they also have satisfying jobs.

Extramarital sex

What about extramarital sex? Well, research tells us it is not as common as people believe.

In 1991, a well-sampled survey of American adults found that three-quarters of the respondents believed that it was always wrong for a married person to have extramarital sex. Would you say that more men than women engage in extramarital sex, yes with 25 percent of men and 15 percent of women admitting to this activity. Although attitudes in general about extramarital sex in the United States today have remained just about the same, single men (both heterosexual and homosexual) in response to the thread of AIDS has been primarily to reduce the number of partners.

Theories: equity, sociobiological, swinging

The text introduces a model theory of relationships, one of which is the equity theory in that in a relationship, people mentally tabulate their inputs to it and what they get out of it. If your acquaintances says she isn’t getting much attention from her partner as she gives so she is not having an affair to balance “the score,” she is practicing equity theory. This example is different than the sociobiological perspective in which if extramarital sex occurs it is because some men and women carry something in their genetic makeup that motivates them to be unfaithful. The swinging theory seems to have been around awhile and although outside of the sexual area of life “swingers” are quite ordinary, we find that most swingers report that they tend to have tolerant attitudes toward various forms of “exotic” sexuality.

Postmarital Sex and the aged

What? Just when we were waxing eloquent about premarital sex not increasing, not with longevity and divorce we now study postmarital sex. We find that most divorced and widowed women begin such relationships within 12 months after the divorce or death of spouse. Yet it is interesting that those widowed women who return to having an active sex life, do so within 12 months and these relationships are long term. Even so, most divorced women, and fewer widowed women return to having an active sex life. Other influences in the postmarital sex population include a higher probability for being sexually active for people who had relatively short versus long marriages, people under 35 versus people over 35, and people without children in the home. Frequency of opportunity helps, in that as a woman ages, one of the most important factors in maintaining sexual desire, meeting sexual needs and having grater sexual satisfaction is remaining sexually active with an available partner. The little research there is on sexual activity among older Americans does indicate that the elderly do participate in sexual intercourse on a regular basis if a partner is available. In a sample of healthy 80- to 102- year olds, 60 percent of men and 30 percent of women reported that they still engaged in sexual intercourse. The primary reason that older women do not participate in sexual activities as much as men is the lack of a sexual partner. Men as they age, lose the sex flush, muscle tension diminishes, the ejaculate volume and force lessens. On the whole, attitudes in American society about sexual expression of older individuals are negative and that somehow it is indecent and is based on our emphasis on the importance of youth and the positive aspects of youth as compared to old age. So, in order to maintain and participate in sexual activity in old age, it is important to have regular opportunities for sexual expression and be in good physical and mental health.

For posting on discussion board.

Note: plan on using quotations (few) and paraphrasing from the text as well as your own observations. Respond to two other students (explain your responses). Be sure that you post three times separately to receive full credit for your responses.

DISCUSSION QUESTION LESSON 8 CHAPTER 12:

How frequent is extramarital sex (in the United States and in your local area)? Do you think the frequency will decline or increase in the next 25 years? Explain.

QUIZ

Remember to take the two quizzes this week.